Everyone knows that women love confident men. The problem is that many guys, in their attempt to come across as confident and self-assured, fail to distinguish being confident from being a cocky asshole.
You may have good looks, a sense of humor, quick wit and intelligence, but if you don’t have confidence and self-esteem, you won’t have sex appeal.
Your physical presence demonstrates your comfort in a room, shows your involvement in a conversation and displays your masculinity to those around you. Three aspects that are relatively easy to do are working on your eye contact, having good posture and relaxing the way your body moves.
Eye contact may feel unnatural or awkward to you at first because it’s relatively intimidating. When you’re trying to keep eye contact to demonstrate your confidence, remember that eye contact is not staring at someone’s eyes. It is a connection. The last thing you want to do is lock eyes and bore holes through their heads or you’ll come off as threatening.
When you think of the most confident guy you’ve seen in movies, chances are he’s someone who has great posture. A slouched, downward-looking person is not convincingly confident, so having good posture is directly linked to whether others perceive you as being confident. Take notice of how you stand in your next interaction or conversation. Practice having good posture until it becomes a natural part of your presence.
If you have a commanding, confident presence but don’t have the abundance mentality or mindset of a high-value person, you’ll come across as slightly ingenuine, insecure and cocky. A high-value man knows he’s a person others like to being around and owns it. He doesn’t brag. He just shows it off through how he interacts with others. A high-value man has dealt with his self-doubt and image problems like a man, making him all the sexier.
Know the difference between confidence and cockiness. Confident men know themselves and stand tall because of it. Cocky men haven’t figured out who they are but do everything they can to come across as someone who has.
A solid, connected, defined sense of self is the kind that vibes with everyone. It’s confident.
If you’re coming across as cocky, you probably haven’t spent enough time trying to get to know yourself. Doing this can turn you into the sexy, confident man you’ve always wanted to be.
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Great article ben, this sentence really resonated with me:
“Eye contact may feel unnatural or awkward to you at first because it’s relatively intimidating. When you’re trying to keep eye contact to demonstrate your confidence, remember that eye contact is not staring at someone’s eyes. It is a connection. The last thing you want to do is lock eyes and bore holes through their heads or you’ll come off as threatening.”
Do you have any specific tips as how to do this?
Hey Cameron, I know I am not Ben but I think I can help you work on your eye contact. I am a waiter at the Olive Garden so I have to have really good eye contact since my guests would be really confused if I couldn’t look them straight into the eyes. Basically the best way to get better at holding confident but non-threatening eye contact is by simply PRACTICING with absolutely EVERYONE. I never use caps, just this time to put in perspective how important this concept for improvement is. Practice with your mother, brother, anyone else in of your family, your friends, coworkers, boss, random cute girl, girlfriend, or again everyone you run into. You will notice that it is a lot easier with people you are close with and that you see a lot, and that’s a good thing. If you make sure that you always hold good eye contact with them whenever you are communicating with them, you will not only build a positive habit of doing that exact same thing always, but also eventually you will be able to hold confident eye contact with everyone. Trust me, or better yet go ahead and give it a try.
There is one thing I also wanted to mention that you might have trouble with because I know I did. What do I do when I just don’t feel very attractive either at this moment (because of acne or a sweaty appearance for example) or even in general for that matter. Still PRACTICE WITH EVERYONE and you will learn to overcome that eventually. Don’t let other people’s made up “opinions” (made up as in you make them up in your head) of you get you down. How do you know what they are thinking? And why do you care? You are the boss. You don’t need their acceptance. You are who you are and have to be proud of that. And guess what happens when you get the strong eye contact down no matter what? All the sudden everyone respects you. Especially if they see that you are a really confident person despite that annoying pimple right in your face or that annoying scar you got when you were a kid. Own up to who you are and be confident no matter what. Good luck, hope this helped!