What do you do, After Hello?
After you break the ice and say hello, one of the first things you should do is establish trust. Women get approached often, and so we have our guards up because we need to suss out if you are just another dude trying to get a piece or if you are someone cool that we actually want to connect with. By establishing trust, you let her know that you are interested in a real connection with her; then, she can let down her guard and start connecting with you, too.
A lot of guys try too hard to spark attraction with the first thing they say to a woman. They try to say something winning and clever, and this usually comes across as trying too hard. You don’t need to make her want you in the first 30 seconds of a conversation, and in fact, you probably won’t. If a woman is attracted to you that instantly, then it’s for something superficial, probably how you look, and that kind of superficial attraction will die the minute you say the wrong thing anyway.
So, rather than focusing on creating instant attraction, focus on establishing trust. You establish trust by staying relaxed, not trying too hard, and having a genuine desire to get to know her better. After hello, you don’t need to be like a chess master, thinking 50 moves ahead; focus only on starting and maintaining a great conversation. Relax and stay in the present moment. You have the whole conversation to tease, flirt, share, and connect with her–all of which will create a much deeper level of attraction.
For more information on what to do After Hello, check out www.afterhello.com. If you’re in the LA area, be sure to come by the After Hello meetup group presented by The Art of Charm. RSVP at www.meetup.com/Afterhello.
"So, rather than focusing on creating instant attraction, focus on establishing trust. You establish trust by staying relaxed, not trying too hard, and having a genuine desire to get to know her better."
had to have been written by a woman. Can you clarify how does 'getting to know her better' translates to? Interview style dialogue? she won't be interested in answering your questions if she's not attracted so I'd say it IS important to get that instant attraction, or 'hook' from the get go. Maybe it's just a matter of semantics, but us guys need to have it broken down in smaller morsels of info.
I think that attraction primarily comes from proper use of body language during the approach, proper use of positive and negative body language during banter and also a playful, carefree and non-needy flirting style. I think a trap that a lot of guys fall into is thinking that they need to say or do something specific to impress her. Ironically, I personally believe that that method makes it seem like you’re trying to hard, and that most women can see through that (i.e. actively trying to impress a girl is a strategy that's doomed from the start).
Once a person has mastered body language and flirting, attraction will come. Then all he has to do is focus on qualifying her and building rapport and trust.
I actually checked out the video that these guys posted at ppc.afterhello.com/welcome and it did a really good job of explaining all of this stuff.
I would say attraction is as critical as building trust but,both are necessary.
Too bad we don't have more contributions from females on the forum. Probably if we did, she would get bombarded with questions. I know I still have questions regarding the content of this article. I just doubt that the author will come back to answer them, which is why I'm not going to bother posting them.