Last week, an article was posted in The Wall Street Journal that talked about shutting down the fraternity system for the benefit of women on campuses. The article talks about the gang rape of Liz Seccuro in 1984. Liz is the author of the book, “Crash Into Me”. The book details the horrors she went through as a result of that terrible crime.
We have all heard the stories of fraternities. The hazing practices, the sexual assaults and as of lately, the letter that was written in one USC fraternity describing a point system being awarded for the guys with the most action.
The idea of the fraternities themselves has a redeeming message. It’s a place where you can belong and have a hand in making your academic career easier. A brotherhood you can lean on.
So where does it go wrong? Do most teenagers even see college as a learning institution anymore? It seems that for years now, that college is a place to get your party on while you earn a piece a paper that should help you land a job in the real world. A frat will just help that party be much better. I never had the opportunity to join a frat nor attend college for that matter, but I have heard stories of the good things, such as fundraisers and community aspects, that seem to get lost in the party.
I’m not so sure if the whole institution should be shut down, but it does seem that a major over haul of the system is well over due.
Where are the leaders of these institutions? Everybody knows that there is a selection process that happens every year for entry. It seems that if you show up with a beer bong, you have a decent shot at getting in. Who chooses the new members? What’s the criteria? Is it money and athleticism? What about moral character or common sense?
In my work as a coach for The Art of Charm, I have seen a few students who came through because the organizations and fraternities they belonged to did not help them prepare for the real world. The skills they acquired from their frat in meeting women and building social circles did not translate to the real world. They were totally confused about the value they had and the value they could offer to those around them.
These were members from well-established, top schools. How is this possible? I thought that these organizations were meant to help and teach these students in the area of building friendships and careers.
With the way information is spreading in today’s world and a camera in everybody’s hand, if these learning institutions want to bring in the brightest of youth to represent their schools without fear, then they will have to look hard into these institutions. The institutions themselves will have to go to each chapter and see what is going on. Do some background checks on the members who are the leaders for each club.
When you put any group of misguided, insecure and scared individuals together you are not going to get great results. I know there are problems with the sororities as well. It starts with parents raising their children properly and these institutions having caring, quality leaders asserting themselves to make sure the younger kids have the proper guidance. Right now, it sounds like the blind is leading the blind with little to no punishment for their actions.
Someone somewhere needs to quit caring about money and start caring about the men and women who attend their learning institutions. In the end, the individuals represent these institutions. These institutions represent the universities.
There are good and bad people all over the planet. Some of both gravitate to the 'Greek System', be they male or female. While I only pledged and never followed through with formally joining a Frat, I can tell you there were 'dogs' and 'sluts', 'gays' and 'lesbians', 'sociopaths' and 'saints', 'rocks' and 'mensa candidates'. Basically a microcosm of the real world in a tiny bubble called a campus.
Points systems for getting laid…immature, but not in itself dangerous. That goes out the window when (and if) you find someone whom you just cannot drop.
Those viewing women (or men) as objects purely for physical release…a rare and unhealthy bird.
Those who gang rape, regardless of 'club', 'society', 'team', 'service' or 'business' are beyond the pale…but they occur only at very rare intervals regardless of which group births them. And no, there is no questionnaire that incorporates screening for social deviance when you apply to the Greek System. Nor is there "generally" any of that sort of screening in the "real world" after you leave University.
The Greek System does want its jocks, its wealthy, its brightest, and even its moral/immoral icons, and it gets a mixture of all the aforementioned. And after University, other groups will try to get their hooks into you. There is no use denying the fact that Brotherhoods/Sisterhoods exist all through society. On balance do they do good or evil? Ask any lay/civil/military/religious Order on the face of the planet. Each will claim the moral pinnacle while heaping dirt on all opponents.
However, I suspect that none of them will fail to use a basic spell-checker prior to posting a review and critique. I know you can do better than "over hall" when you mean overhaul and "over do" when you mean overdue. ;~)
And just so I don't come off as being too 'preachy', I'm a 47 year old male rebuilding his life after a divorce, a bankruptcy, estrangement from children…and trying to once again trust enough to interact with the female of the species. You guys have far more to worry about than the Greek System, believe me. The Roman System thats taking over your country is far more pernicious.
PS – Most people on the planet are misguided, insecure and scared when they're young. Hell, most don't advance much past that stage well into their middle age. Are you not expecting too much from systems rife with pro fessors and men/women selling themselves for 'degrees' of servitude?
Money, like a hammer or a gun, is only a tool dependent on the character and ability of the user.
John – Thanks for your comments.
Always great to hear from our listeners and readers. I appreciate your feedback!
As for my mistakes? Ha! Yes, I am not perfect.
As for the piece itself, Just commentary on something I saw and wanted to share my thoughts. Thanks for sharing yours
Cheers!