What excuses do you use that hold you back? What limiting beliefs do you have? They come in all forms, from the judgment of people you have never met to writing yourself out of the equation for no reason.
These are the reasons most of us don’t succeed in the activities we pursue. They are thoughts and beliefs that are not based on anything relevant other than a simple thought that you have throughout the day and it is easier to take the line of no action. This way you can protect your ego and not feel hurt or rejected.
I would like you to think about something though. The feelings of rejection versus the guilt you feel for not doing what you know you were supposed to do. For instance, you are out with your buddies and you notice a woman glancing in your direction several times and your instinct tells you to say hi. You write it off as she couldn’t have been interested in you because of your age. Quite possibly another gentlemen later starts to chat her up obviously older or younger than you and now you feel like crap because you know you could have been the one chatting her up.
You spend the next day kicking yourself and feeling lame. I for one would rather get rejected up front rather than feeling guilty the next day because I should have done something.
Let’s put up a list of common excuses and make sure we are not using any of these ourselves to avoid achieving our goals.
- I’m too old or too young. – How do you know? Maybe she likes older or younger men. Very large age differences will have more weight than a difference of 5-7 years. I know plenty of thirty-some year old men dating 20 – something girls. Instead of guessing and allowing another opportunity pass by, maybe you should get up and go talk to her.
- People are different where I live. – Sorry guys I been through a lot of portions of this world and people are people everywhere with their primal urges shining through. Though there are subtle differences in other’s cultures those subtle differences are minimal. Find out for yourself.
- She’s too hot or not hot enough. - Here is another good one. When you’re out in a social environment, be social. Say hello, chat many people up, both guys and girls, and have fun. Even if she is not the girl you’re interested in, you might like one of her friends. Quit being stuck-up. That is not going to work in your favor. As for the girl who is too hot, let her decide who is worth talking to and keep your negative self-thoughts to yourself.
- I don’t have a cool job or money for women to be interested in me. – That’s a nice thought isn’t it? “To be interesting you have to be interested.” If you have goals and aspirations, you are going to be attractive. You have to show your passions for the things that interest you. As for money, sure some women are attracted to that kind of thing, but to generalize all women only sells you and them short. That kind of attitude towards the world will definitely help you wallow in misery.
- I don’t know what to say or do – Well that can be a bummer, but there is an easy way out of that thought. I mean after all you are reading this on a website to help you in that department. Check out this reliable free source on that very topic. http://ajandjordantalkchicks.com/episodes/banter-part-1-2/ This should clear up everything. If you need or want more help you can always get more help through www.theartofcharm.com/strategy. If you have an iPhone, download The Art of Charm app. There are good icebreakers in there that can help you wile you’re out.
The list of excuses and limiting beliefs go on and on. I hope after reading this that you challenge some of these ideas and beliefs to get some real feedback.
In the end you should feel better doing something rather than nothing. Remember you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. No need to take offense. Most girls will be flattered by your approach whether they are attracted or not.
