So Jordan sent me a link to this video with the suggestion to point out where it’s right and where it might be leading guys astray. Here we go.
- Generosity and loyalty are good, but your mindset must be right, otherwise it will convey neediness–which is NOT attractive.
- “Be macho”? “Find your sensitive side”? Adopting a false front is never going to help you get what you want in your love life.
If you want to sow your wild oats, it’s more important that you be congruent with this desire than that you adopt a persona that’s not you. In my experience, almost everyone wants to date around a bit AND find someone they can deeply connect with–you don’t have to pick one or the other, and you don’t have to act a certain way to experience both.
- Starting a conversation with a compliment is a high-risk maneuver, and doing it properly is an exercise in subtlety. Yes, it can be done.
The trick is whether you’re looking for a reaction or not. You can manipulate your body language to seem less needy–turn your head away after giving the compliment, for instance–but this will come naturally if you’ve got the right mindset.
- Making her laugh is DEFINITELY important. In fact, this is why we recommend starting conversations with some playful banter lines if nothing else comes to mind. Being silly and not taking yourself seriously is one of the easiest ways to let someone else loosen up around you.
Laughter (and what causes it) is more complicated than you may think! Check out this book on laughter and this article about why we laugh
- Your attention is a very important tool in sparking attraction. Allowing a woman to feel she has your full awareness can be very rewarding for her, but again, it can also show a lot of neediness if she hasn’t done anything to earn your interest.
Let’s simplify it this way: When you’re giving her your attention, she should have your full attention–but it doesn’t need to be constant.
- “Women love a guy who automatically pays for dinner” — LOL! I love people who always buy me things too! This is NOT recommended if you’d like to take the dates past the restaurant.
Some women will go on dates with guys because they know they’ll be treated to a nice expensive evening out and not have to pay for it, but it doesn’t mean they’re interested in the man at all! Keep an eye on how compliant you’re being and how much she’s reciprocating. Doing favors for each other is a mutual game.
- You don’t need to own a home to be attractive, period. However, Women do tend to be attracted to men with the potential for social and economic success.
Think about it for a second–a woman who’s looking to settle down may find a responsible homeowner to be a smart decision, but that doesn’t change the fact that most females are strongly attracted to rock stars every day of the week.
- Show a fondness for children–Show her this trait if you have it, but don’t fake it. If you have little cousins or younger siblings, great. Don’t make it a point to bring up how much you like kids if it’s not true.
- Tone your body–this is true. Putting a bit of time in the gym will make you feel better and more attractive, which will make you more attractive to her. Get in shape, ya slob!
- Be Faithful–If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, this can be key. However, if she’s treating you poorly in a relationship, you should NOT continue to be faithful–end it instead! Staying in an unhealthy relationship just shows you don’t value yourself highly.
This video is definitely hilarious, but should be taken with a grain of salt. If you do all these tips it might work for winning over a woman in the 1950s, but the game has changed a bit since then. Don’t be a pushover, don’t act super-needy, and keep the relationship fairly balanced in terms of compliance.
However… this leaves out the whole middle section from meeting and attracting the girl to getting her out on a date in the first place, as well as how to plan great dates! Good thing we have tons of free advice on dating right here 
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Alex Weber was born in NYC, raised in New Jersey, and studied Computer Science at Ithaca College. After hanging out with a bunch of anti-social computer programmers for a few years, Alex discovered social dynamics and began his studies independently
