Sure the easiest way is to just avoid the subject and hope they never learn about each other. The only problem for me was if I met a woman I was really interested in that could really screw things up if she found out
I prefer to be honest with the women I date so there is a lot less drama. What I ended up doing though was hitting them in the head with the sledgehammer of honesty. Sometimes being too honest will cause you more trouble.
The key I found to openly dating multiple women is what you say about it from the very first time you meet them. It’s about understanding how women interpret different statements. I asked a lot of female friends about this subject and got their translations.
“I want to be honest with you, I am dating other people.”
Translation: He was lying to you before, now is coming clean. You are not good enough for him so he is going to date and sleep with other women.
Ouch… This is hitting her over the head with the sledgehammer honesty.
“I’m not into having a serious relationship right now.”
Translation: He just wants to sleep around and won’t likely commit to a relationship.
This one is clear you only want a casual relationship. However many women who would be fine with just a casual relationship won’t because there is no option for a committed relationship. Having the option for more is important to most women, even if they don’t want it at the moment.
“I’m dating a couple people but nothing serious.”
Translation: He is single, has options and is still on the market but I may have competition.
If I say this then I have been honest and clear and don’t have to have any type of “talk” about it unless she brings it up. She knows I am dating but I also haven’t shut the door on a possible relationship. I have been clear and honest without closing any doors in her face or degrading her. I try to say this when I first meet her. The more time we spend together the more attached she may become and it will be harder to swallow that you are dating other women.
You might be tempted to re-emphasize that you are dating other people the longer you date. Us guys do it all the time as a defense mechanism. We see what we interpret as a woman getting too attached too quickly so we try to re-emphasize that we are not in a relationship; my advice is DON’T. It is a slap in the face to a woman. She knows; she heard you the first time.
We have many self-imposed fantasies, like setting the clock ahead so we aren’t late. When I date a woman who is dating other guys I don’t like to think about it. I don’t want to hear about it. I just imagine I am the only one even though I know I’m not. She has to do the same. Don’t insult her by throwing it in her face that you are still dating other people.
My other rule is if you want to keep it casual with a woman and not get into a relationship don’t date her more than once a week. Regardless of what you say your actions say you want to be in a relationship if you are seeing her more.
Eventually there will come a time when it comes up that she is not thrilled you are dating other people. This is natural and inevitable and you have to deal with it. Some women will be able to handle this situation for longer than others.
Women often ask questions they don’t want to hear answers to because they can’t help themselves. So if she asks if I am sleeping with any of the other women I am dating I say something like this:
“If I find someone that i have a really strong connection with, I want to experience who they are as a unique person at whatever that level that leads us to. ”
If she probes further…
“Like I said, right now, nothing is serious. I would like a serious relationship in the future and until I find the right person I need to find out about someone and who they really are before I can make that step.”
If she probes further…
“Look, I don’t want to go into it. All I know is I want to find out about who you are and get to know you better.”
If she still has a problem with it, she usually will want to be my friend. That is just a way in her mind to make it ok that she is still dating me. Most women don’t want to be dating a guy who is dating other women, however they will be friends with that guy. Don’t worry about being put in the friend zone, the fact that she can’t have you all to herself will make her want you more. If you drop her just because she is not ok with you dating other women it just reaffirms that you are only in it for one thing. Be her friend for a few more dates and she will likely come around and be ok with it.
Dating multiple women is a really good thing to keep you from becoming too needy when you do meet a woman you want to be in a relationship with. When I am really into a girl I end up spending way too much time with her and it’s a turn off. I come on too strong and end up ruining everything. If I am dating more than one woman at a time then that isn’t a problem. I even have a rule that I won’t be exclusive with a woman until dating her for at least two to three months. This helps me from jumping in too quickly and when I do decide on being exclusive it means even more to her.
You can date multiple women with integrity if you follow some of these guidelines. Not only will it make you more confident but it will also help reaffirm that you have choice in your dating and romantic life. A man who has choice is always more attractive to women than a man who just takes the first woman who will have him.
