Texting is a powerful communication tool. Just as we have to learn how to effectively attract women with our conversation and social skills, we have to learn the rules of texting.
The attraction of text is that it’s a quick, low commitment form of communication. In less than a minute a text can be sent. Texts can be answered completely at your convenience, even under the table in an important meeting. The convenience, speed, and being able to answer in the exact manner and time of your choosing makes it very addictive.
These characteristics also make it easier to ignore, delay, or get only partial answers in text.
Here are some common mistakes with texting:
1. Avoid questions in texts.
Ever have someone text you a question like “How are you?”
I’m willing to bet you didn’t rush to answer the text, and it very possibly went unanswered. Even with all of the new phones with keyboards, typing out an answer to a question that is any more than something simple defies the whole point of texting; quick and brief. If you are going to ask a question keep them simple. It is far more effective to make a good statement that is enticing enough to warrant a response
2. Avoid sarcasm.
This is a personal goal of mine anyway, but without the subtleties of nonverbal communication, a sarcastic statement can be interpreted completely wrong even with a smiley attached. Save subtle banter for in person or over the phone. Keep your text flirting and banter clear and obvious in its meaning.
3. Don’t ask her out over text.
Think about how a conversation goes over the phone when you are asking a woman out.
Me: Let’s grab coffee on Wednesday.
Her: Oh I can’t do Wednesday.
Me: Ok, how about Thursday.
Her: Damn, can’t do Thursday either.
Me: Your turn to propose a night then.
Her: Let’s do it on Tuesday night then.
Me: Sounds good but it will have to be for a drink since I’m working late that day. Meet you at the Union Street bar at nine on Tuesday.
A phone conversation is a much better way to arrange a time to get together. Over text there are too many things that can short-circuit that process. If she is hesitant to get together or might be busy, or even just wants to keep her options open, she may just ignore your text altogether.
If you are asking her out for that night or the next she might just delay answering your text till it is too late. Or worse you have to have the whole conversation above through multiple texts where at any time it may be interrupted or delayed. There is also another reason; asking a woman to get together with you over text is cowardly. Be a man and call the woman up and ask her out properly. You will appear to have much more confidence if you aren’t trying to take the easy way out in asking her.
My one caveat is if a woman repeatedly texts you in response to phone messages you leave her, she might just be one of those girls who prefers to do everything over text. I take what I can get in that case and if she is at least texting me back, I’ll then arrange it over text, but I first try to do it over the phone. This of course all goes out the window once you have actually been dating a while. Use texting to your advantage, but beware its limitations.
Women are more likely to answer a text than a phone call if they are on the fence about you. A bit of texting can firm up the connection and remind her you are a fun interesting guy. Don’t blow it by making one of the mistakes above.
PHOTO: Noize Photography
