Let’s talk about how bad you want it.
I get many emails from people saying, “but you’re a natural at this! I’m not a natural, and I need routines!”
I tell them I wasn’t always a natural at this stuff – do you think I was born doing this? I was nervous as hell in the beginning!
The reason I can coach you all is that I’ve experienced every emotion that you guys have gone through. I know what it feels like to have my heart beat through my shirt. I know what it feels like to have a quivering lip as I approach some girl sitting at a table. I know what it’s like to have the monkey chatter in your head! Some of those feelings are just natural emotions of life.
But we talked about this – Barry Bonds is a natural ballplayer (steroids or not!) He’s just naturally amazing. Do you remember when you were little and there were kids who could throw the ball much farther than anyone else? They are naturals.
But that doesn’t mean that you can’t throw the ball just as far – you just have to work harder at it for it to become natural.
If you put the time into anything in life – meeting women, singing, cooking, whatever – over time your skill will develop and then it will become natural for you.
I seem like such a natural at all this just because I’ve been doing it for so long. With practice, all of you will get to the point where you are a natural.
Some of you will find parts of this that you are far better at – if you take me into a bar, I am the most unnatural person in the world. I’m so uncomfortable! I don’t enjoy it at all, I’m not having fun, and I’m totally in my head. I’m just bored.
But in a mall, or on the streets? Walking into stores? I have a million things to talk about. Hell, it feels like I’ve made some purchase at every retail store in America! I can walk into anywhere and talk about things. These are the things that I’m interested in.
The way to become a natural at something is to go out and do things that you’re interested in so that you’re able to keep up good conversations. This will also build up your confidence.
I’ve met guys who are naturals in bars. Do you know why? They are big drinkers. They can talk about booze nonstop.
Client: But that gets pretty old after a while if you’re not a drinker! I’m more into working out and doing other things, and sometimes it feels like I just don’t fit in.
Last night we were going to healthy food places, today we’re eating healthy food – this is much more my style.
David: Yeah, and we’ll probably go to Whole Foods for dinner! It’s cheap; there are lots of people there…
I’m a natural in the market, because I eat at Whole Foods twice a day! I know the menu like the back of my hand. I’m able to work that place and I’m able to talk to people because I always have topics to talk about there.
I had a client one time that was a wine connoisseur. So he expanded his social network by going to wine tasting parties and stopping in wine shops on Saturday afternoons. There he met other wine people, and he developed a social network with these people and he started having wine tasting parties.
I told him to collect the cards of the people he met in the stores and then we set up our own little wine tasting parties. And the men and women that he had met – guess what they brought to the parties? Friends!
So a bunch of winos sat down on a Saturday night talking, and he was totally in his comfort zone. That’s how he was successful meeting women. That was his hobby.
The best way to meet people is by doing things that you love. You’ll rarely meet people doing something that you don’t love.
Client: You’ll meet people doing the things that you love!
