So, you’ve busted through the girl’s bitch shield. You’re sliding into home base, right? No, sir. Not if you are dealing with a high quality girl. A high quality girl is used to getting hit on. Not only is she used to getting hit on, she’s used to letting some guys past her bitch shield. Now, she’ll hit you with some “tests” to ensure that you are truly worthy of her time. Welcome, gentlemen, to the shit test.
Shit tests are gauges sent out to a guy upon first contact to see how he deals with “x” variable. It is an equation projected on a guy to see how he “deals with it.” It’s her way of gaining control, putting the male into a passive position, and asserting her own indirect control over the situation. The situation, by the way, is your entire interaction.
This is a slight tangent, but just so you understand my use of the word “gauge,” I will share a female secret. I often feel like a traitor to my sex, but I am assured by the fact that I feel I am helping men become better candidates for interaction. Actually, I’m doing a favor to all womankind by sharing this “secret”.
Women often use kissing a man to “gauge” the relationship. Whether it’s a two-week-old relationship or a two-year-old relationship, they will use kissing as the litmus test to “feel out” what a man is “thinking.
This test works because women are born with an innate sense of subtext and ulterior motive, cued by body language. Women are able to, even on a subconscious level, read body language better than most consciously aware males. According to women, men say one thing and mean another. This is why women use “gauges” to “feel out” or “test” men. It’s a way to cut through the bullshit and get to the true meaning of interaction. The initial gauge you will ever face with a woman is the shit test. That is, if you are so lucky to break through her bitch shield.
As I’ve said before, a woman sends out a Shit Test to make the guy “deal with it.” She’s testing you to see if you will pass or fail. Of course, “passing” or “failing” is purely subjective as well as subject to female logic. “Female logic” is not something to be taken lightly. “At graduation ceremonies across the country” colleges handed out 200,000 more degrees to women than men, according to Tom Mortensen, a senior scholar at the Pell Institute for the Study of Opportunity in Higher Education, who has been studying enrollment trends for the last decade. “It’s not a matter of which sex is smarter than the other. It’s a matter of respecting each sex’s ability to think and excel in a modern world.”
There are two kinds of shit tests, and they are defined by how to combat them. The first are shit tests that can be passed with a C&F (cocky and funny) answer and shit tests that can be passed with a truthfully genuine answer. C&F answers to shit tests prove social value and break routine. Genuine answers build rapport. Because these two categories are defined by their solution, and the solution is specific to each situation, this is as far as I can go with the explanation.
I won’t go through the plethora of usual witty comments to combat general shit tests because those can be found anywhere and everywhere. Look in any forum, and ask any mentor. Out of necessity, I will list a few of them:
- How many people have you used this stuff on?
- How many girls have you slept with?
- You think you’re a real funny man, don’t you?
- Are you gay?
- I think my friend has a crush on you.
- Buy me a drink.
Three general techniques of “passing” shit tests are as follows: disqualifying the question, sarcastically running with the question, or “getting all real on her ass.”
- How many girls have you slept with?
None. I don’t have a bed. I sleep upside down like Batman.
or
You must think you are hilarious.
I am. You just aren’t smart enough to get the jokes. - How many girls have you used this stuff on?
Only you. Man, you are the center of my universe tonight. Thank God you think as highly of yourself as I do. - How many girls have you hit on tonight?
I’m a people person. I love talking with new people and expanding my perspective on the world. It’s a bit haughty of you to think I’d hit on you. Have more respect for yourself, I think you’re an interesting girl, you should too.
The following techniques are some of my favorite non-commercialized methods to combat the shit test. They have been personally field-tested but all of them may not be congruent for every PUA. I encourage you to experiment, push past your comfort zone, and grow a pair. Play around with any of the following techniques that pique your interest:
Stare, Walk, and Re-engage
Sometimes, what you need to do is stop her, turn away to talk with someone else worthy of conversing with you (which is why I personally feel it’s important to open the entire venue so you can use them in emergency situations.)
Eventually, nonchalantly start a new thread over your shoulder with your original target. The trick thing about this is that you have to appear unaffected by her previous shit test. You don’t want to seem like you’ve been confused, hurt, excited, etc. All it should look like is that you were distracted for a moment by someone more entertaining. She may even start to qualify herself in order to get your attention.
The Ignored Shit Test
With the Ignored Shit Test, you must tread carefully because you could come across as failing the shit test by ignoring it. However, if done in the right way, you can knock the girl out of her routine, which is worth “failing” a silly shit test for.
This method simply consists of, literally, ignoring the shit test. Seriously. Completely ignore it. Continue the conversation like you would have if she had not thrown the shit test in your way. Rather than stumbling over a rock she has thrown in your path, jumping over it, kicking it out of the way, or walking around it, you deny its existence and, therefore, it does not exist. There was no rock.
This will most likely confuse her. However, if you’re confident enough, 99.9% of the time she will just go with you.
Now, what about that small percentage that does not follow you down your path? Every once in a while, you’ll get a girl who tries to make you own up to something.
For example:
HB: What’s the deal with that gay hat?
PUA: yadda yadda yadda (continues with his story or routine)
HB: Dude, what’s the deal with the hat?
PUA: (Continues with his story)
HB: Did you hear me?
PUA: Yes. (Continues with his story)
HB: Are you ignoring my question?
PUA: Clearly, your boyfriend doesn’t spank you enough (credit: The Art of Charm)
Cheating on the Shit Test
Cheating is probably the most simple and humorous way to deal with a shit test. It is slightly connected to ignoring the shit test in its delivery; however, it will disarm her through humor. You quickly “pass” the shit test and seamlessly continue plowing-on-through with your own material.
HB: I have a boyfriend.
PUA: Me too. (Continue with your story)
Another version of cheating the shit test that is a little less like ignoring the shit test is called “Owning the Shit Test”
HB: I have a boyfriend.
PUA: Me too. He’s tall dark and handsome, but I’m looking to upgrade. Wanna be my dating coach? Walk me around and introduce me to people. (now start roleplaying banter.)
Mirrored Frame to combat Shit Tests
Robert Greene states in his book 48 Laws of Power, “Disarm and infuriate with the mirror effect” The Mirror reflects reality but it is also a perfect tool for deception: when you mirror your enemies doing exactly like they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyche, you seduce them with the illusion that you share them their values; by holding up to their action you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of the Mirror Effect”
When you employ a mirrored frame, you’re basically returning the information she’s sending out back at her so she has to process it. You don’t “deal with it.” You throw it right back in her face, accept that frame like it doesn’t matter, and move on with your plan.
For example:
HB:”I have a boyfriend.”
PUA: “You have a boyfriend. Yes. Okay.” (Then you move on with your plan.)
HB: “Buy me a drink.”
PUA: “You want to buy me a drink.”(Then ignore it and move on.)
Or:
PUA: “You want to buy me a drink. Go ahead, don’t be shy.”
HB: “Men are pigs.”
PUA: “Okay, well, tell me about the pigs you’ve dealt with until now.”
You’re accepting the frame she’s throwing out, but in effect, you’re taking it on as your own and throwing it back in her face. When mirroring, you want to be calm, and relaxed. You want to present an air of low pressure by using less kinetic energy.
Many of my students ask me what is the automatic ticket to failing a shit test. Though, this seems like a bit of a self-contained community shit test, I have an automatic answer that works every time: insecurity. If you are insecure, you become defensive. If you defensively qualify yourself, you give all your power to the girl. If that is the case, you have not only failed the shit test, but you have given her free range to take advantage of your insecurity.
By the way, being called out as a “Pick Up Artist” is a shit test, it is “The Big One” in our current state of affairs. The Game is so mainstream and commercial. Girls can pick Neil Strauss up in the airport bookstore on the way from LaGuardia to Nashville. Women just have to “TiVo” The Pick-Up Artist on VH-1 and they are automatically privy to “the community. Friends of my mother talked about “those pick-up guys” on Dr. Phil the other day.
As you all have noticed, there are an exponentially growing number of women who are joining our forums. This is due to the “mainstreamification” of the Pick Up Arts. Get used to it. This is the future of our trajectory. What is the solution then? Go with it. If you become defensive, it will only egg the girl on. Not only will this blow you out of a potential number/full close, but it will blow you out of the set, blow you out of the bar, and possibly blow you out of the venue.
photo by MoonSoleil
