There are a couple of things to do in order to become very memorable. One is to pick somebody that you remember, and ask yourself: what are the characteristics that made you remember this person?
What was it about that person that made you think of them beyond your initial encounter? Was it was that they made you feel? Was it the way that they listened to you? Was it the way that they engaged you in conversation? Was it something that they said that was particularly interesting? Think about it. Life is all about modeling. You can model yourself after somebody.
I’d like to share a story. Back when I was 24 years old, I was a wannabe actor in New York City and I really hated waiting tables and wanted to bar tend. I went into this bar that my friend Pilar, this blond girl, was working in, and I said, “teach me how to bart end.” She said, “Fine, here are the 20 drinks you need to memorize.” I had no problem with that, but I asked, “Do you mind if I come here every single night and just watch the way you move?” Bartenders have a certain way that they move behind the bar; you want to make it look good. She looked great behind the bar, the way she shook the cocktail shaker, the way she moved her arms up and down in making shots; there are so many particular mannerisms.
So I literally watched her mannerisms behind the bar every night for two weeks. I memorized the drinks, found myself a job, and what happened next? My first night bar tending, there were probably a thousand people in the club, and at the end of the night they hired me as the head bartender because I was the best they’d seen in a long time. And I had never bar tended before in my life!
It was the same thing when I went into the car business; for some reason or another, I always wanted to own a used car lot, because I was obsessed with cars and wanted to have 50 of them at once to play with and drive. I was at the point in my life and in my career where I was investing in real estate in Colorado (buying and selling foreclosures) and I started hanging out at my ex-partner Greg’s job: he was a salesman for this certain used car lot.
I’d go in there everyday and negotiate with him over cars. Then I would go to every single car dealer in Denver and negotiate with them over their car deals. I learned how they negotiated. I wanted to learn everything, and I learned the lingo they were using. I asked them about their business, and everything that I could possibly know about the business the wholesale end, the retail end everything.
So then I opened up my business with Greg, who ended up being my partner, and three weeks into it these wholesalers came into the dealership. I forgot their names, but I think they were Johnny and Roger. They were two really old wholesalers; they’d been in the business something like 30 years.
They looked at me and they said, “it’s so great that you’re a car guy. We hate all of the guys that just get into this business to make money. You’re one of these old-fashioned car guys.” I was thinking to myself, I got into the business not only because I liked cars, but I also knew it would be a good investment, but because I had talked to all of the dealers and asked so many questions, I was able to become that “car guy.”
Everything in life is about becoming memorable. How you do this is by mirroring somebody that you respect. There are two options for participating in a weekend bootcamp with me. Most people choose the first one, which is where I watch you in action, and then you watch me, and then I’ll watch you, and we will alternate to see exactly how you do, and I’ll keep critiquing you.
But there’s a great story about a guy who came to attend one of my coaching weekends and chose the second option. He looked at me and said, “I just want to follow you the entire weekend. I don’t want to talk or anything. I’m going to take notes, I’m going to record you speaking, and I’m going to follow you. The last hour of the weekend is going to be me going out and being you.”
I asked him if he was sure, and he said, “Absolutely. That’s how I learn best. That is how I learned to be a very successful stock trader.” And the story he told me about becoming a successful stock trader as a 21-year-old is that he essentially found the best stock trader on Wall Street, waited in the elevator for him to come down to talk to him.
As soon as the stock trader entered the elevator, this kid told him, “I want to be you. Here’s the scoop: you don’t have to pay me. I just want to hang out with you for one week. I’ll do your dishes, I’ll even go home and sleep with your wife, if you don’t want to have sex with her anymore, and as risky as that was to say, the stock trader started cracking up and said, “in that case, sure, you can follow me for a week.”
After one week of following him, the kid said, “alright, now I’m going to ask you for a job, even though you told me there was none. Here is the deal: if I can go and close two people in this hour; get them as clients with the worst list of leads that you can give me, will you hire me?” The stock trader looked at him and said, “absolutely, you cocky kid!”
The kid got four new clients in the first hour. True story! So this guy came and spent an entire weekend with me, just shadowing me. He was good: dynamite personality, but he had the typical mental blocks with women, and he couldn’t figure out what he was doing wrong. He wanted to watch me all weekend. I spent the weekend flirting with women, having a good time, and this guy was just quiet in the background. I felt the pressure building; I wanted him to just let go and have a good time. I wanted him to have an amazing experience, but he kept telling me not to worry about him.
The last hour of the weekend, I looked at my watch and said, “it’s five o’clock on Sunday. Your flight is at 7:30; you’re leaving at six o’clock. You have an hour. He replied, “fine, watch.” And it was like watching myself. It was unbelievable. He was opening up women, he was talking, and he was engaging and listening. He made a complete 360º turnaround.
In life, you should mirror somebody that you find successful. In order to be memorable and successful, you should mirror somebody to learn how to do that. It doesn’t matter if you learn by doing or watching, eventually you will have to do it yourself, but you don’t have to do it until you are 100% ready.
And in that preparation to get ready to do it yourself, you’d better take great notes and practice. You can practice at home everything from smiling to your body language in the mirror. How do you look? Get dressed up and see how memorable you look.
David Wygant is the nation’s leading personal dating coach. David’s dating advice can help you succeed with the opposite sex like never before. Visit www.davidwygant.com to learn how David can help you.
photo by tristanbrand
