Continued from Part 1: http://pickuppodcast.com/blogv2/2008/07/31/what-true-intimacy-means-for-a-woman/
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INTIMACY
When a woman who is with a man who can execute all of the above in a confident way, she can say she feels intimate with him. Why? Because he is relating to her as a woman, in a way that almost no other man does. She will get the feeling that she is with a man who finally understands her.
What Intimacy Is Not
- Intimacy for a woman is not when you pour out your heart to her. That’s you looking to her for comfort. It will repel her. As a heterosexual woman she will not feel sexually attracted toward a man who needs her to generate comfort. She might feel maternal only if she has enough affection toward you.
- Intimacy for a woman is not you being passive in bed. Again, it demonstrates a fear of her and putting her on a pedestal. This type of energy is the way little boys treat their mothers. Most mothers don’t have the urge to fuck their sons after they’ve wiped the snot off their noses.
- Sexual Intimacy for a woman is not when you act like her therapist, letting her use you like an emotional tampon. That type of intimacy is reserved for her girlfriends.
- Intimacy for a woman is not when you are an abusive hardass that has no empathy. When I say Empathy I want you guys to feel understanding for the woman without becoming a woman. These types of “low-level” alpha males who have no empathy can generate a lot of sexual attraction in a woman, but not real intimacy.
How to Know When You Are Really Intimate with a Woman
Women love gentle teasing. When she wants you to kiss her more/fuck her harder/move faster, when she is supplicating to you as her man, she is opening herself up to you completely. You are in complete control of the interaction. You are leading her on a roller-coaster ride of highs and lows. If you are in complete charge + she is loving it = Intimacy for her.
Whether you are whispering things in her ear, commanding her to perform a certain action, telling her a story, escalating sexually, or otherwise leading, you will see that she is in a virtual hypnotic state. That means she is feeling intimate with you.
When you have a Good Girl horny enough and comfortable enough with you to cry out “fuck my little pussy! PLEASE!” it means she is feeling very, very Intimate with you.
Think about it guys: When a woman says you make her feel wonderful, it means she feels close to you, she knows that you really understand her, her mind and her body. That’s Intimacy for a woman. The problem with society is they paint male-female intimacy as either in a boy-mother light or a girlfriend-girlfriend light. When a woman talks about being Intimate with her male lover, those are not the two kinds of intimacy she is talking about. We are here to learn about a more masculine way to create Intimacy for the woman.
photo by Stoichiometry
here is a great post by Zan
“It is true. Women don’t want to know every detail about your sensitive nature. You want to be sensitive and still maintain a modicum of masculinity? Well then, seek to inspire empathy between you and her… not sympathy. Save your confessions… she is not interested. She is interested in your heart and authenticity.
Your honesty belongs to you. It is your strength. It is knowing who you are, and refusing to apologise for it. Never confuse honesty with confession.”
In my opinion, women don’t want a brother or a father/therapist or a son to mother and take care of…they want a lover and a friend, someone who truly listens empathetically to them expressing themselves and their emotions without interrupting them with unsolicited advice, subjective judgment or solutions to their problems…all they want to hear is: “I understand”